Unfold

Sometimes there are lyrics that just touch me to the core. I found this song today on Myspace and it says so much and I have felt these feelings countless times in my life. I have struggled with overcoming my shy nature. I am improving in many area's but I still have such a hard time in others. I am blessed to have such safety with my husband. I just hope that someday I will not have to work so hard to "Unfold". The title of this post will take you to Marie Digby singing this song, she is definitly talented.

unfold :
by: Marie Digby

what i can remember is a lot like water
trickling down a page of the most beautiful colors
i can’t quite put my finger down on the moment
that i became like this...

you see i am the bravest girl
you will ever come to meet
yet i shrink down to nothing
at the thought of someone really seeing me
i think my heart is wrapped around
and tangled up in winding weeds

but i dont wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my imperfections
and even though my feet
are trembling and every
word i say comes stumbling
i will bare it all... watch me unfold unfold

these hands that i hold
behind my back are bound and broken
by my own doing and i can’t feel
anything anymore i need a touch
to remind me i’m still real

but i dont wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing someone else my imperfections
and even though my feetare trembling
and every word i say comes stumbling

i will bare it all... watch me unfold
unfold my soul it’s dying to be free you see..
i can’t live the rest of my lifeso guarded
it’s dying to be free it’s up to me to choose...

what kind of life i leadbut i dont wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing someone else my imperfections
and even though my feet are trembling
and every word i say comes stumbling
i will bare it all... watch me unfold unfold

i will allow someone to love me
i will allow someone to love me.

Things Change...

One night can change your life. I went to bed on Thursday night and everything in life was mostly normal, very predictable. I was awoken on at 12:30am on Friday morning to a loud pounding on the door and Cooper barking at whoever it was. When Chris and I went down to the door we found in to be someone there repossessing our truck, which is current on it's payments. We were in complete and utter shock, because he had an order to take the truck and we had no clue why. we have since figured out the cause and if the bank had told us what we needed to give them the whole thing could have and should have been avoided. Instead they chose to steal our truck and then tell us there was a problem. It is just crazy to think that they can just decide to take a vehicle back whenever they want. The whole incident takes a long time to explain and we will be taking the company to court about the situation because we now have a 900.00 fee we have to pay to get our truck from the repo yard 2 hours away! The point that I want to make is that just because things seem like they are okay doesn't mean they are, and the opposite just because life seems to be terrible it does not mean it is. What will make or break a situation is how we as individuals choose to view and deal with the issues at hand. Chris and I have been actively making plans about how we think our life should go. I think that a few of the plans are going to be changing because our plans are not in line with Heavenly Fathers. At this point I am not at liberty to discuss the plan which is possibly going to change because we are still praying and contemplating. However it is exciting and I think that Heavenly Father is telling us that it is time. Life changes very quick and very rapidly, I just hope I can keep up. It can be so scary sometimes, but it is more than worth it. I am excited to live a full life on this earth with my husband and our families. This is definitely an exciting ride.

April Already...

Well folks it is already April, I have been working at my job for a few months now, and Chris is working now also. My job is okay, I am learning a lot about young children. I enjoy being with the one year olds especially and I should be teaching a class of 4 and 5 year olds soon. One of the amazing parts of my job is how much children can teach me. It is amazing to look at the world through their eyes. They can fight and make up a minute later, what is truely amazing is that they will never bring the incident back up. That is one of those well known facts I guess. There is truely an innocence which surrounds children who are loved and respected. That is the key because I can tell when children are not being nutured at home, when they are scared, when they have not learned to respect others because they are not respected by their parents. It is heartbreaking to work with the children who know more swear words and derogitive statements than nice things to say. Especially when they are not even three years old. I can't help but wonder what kind of person is being raised. Will they overcome the immense challenges in their future? I don't know, if a child is not given the proper tools and knowledge, how can we expect them to become functioning adults? It is these questions, it is overcoming these obstacles that makes my job worth it. Children are OUR future, by nurturing and raising children I can make a difference in OUR future. It is about giving them a positive start so they can do great things.
Okay enough of that, it is not what I was planning on writing...Anyways, Chris and I are doing good. He is working at Firestone (I don't like the company) none-the-less it is a job and he is wonderful in putting up with it. He has not had a Saturday off since he started and this week he has Sunday and Tuesday off, I always have Saturday and Sunday. It is hard to be apart so much. However it will not be like this forever. We are planning to start our own business, so that I can be at home and he can go to school. We have a lot of planning and development before we will know when this will happen but it will. I am excited for the adventures of our life, it will be an exciting road. We are also trying to plan a trip to Susanville to see family this summer. Lots of plans, it will be fun. Oh and Liz is having a baby and I am super excited for her and Tim!!! I wish them the best of luck!! I also hope to see them this summer when they come back to Washington to visit.